by The Merry Maiden
by The Merry Maiden
We've all seen them. The characters who really should be together, even though they themselves don't realise it. With this in mind, here are a few suggested love-birds!
Dr Frederick Fonseca (Jimmy Mistry)/Mick McFarlane (Sylvester Williams): EastEnders
Mick may well be pursuing the beautiful Nina at the moment, but ever since Fred came out during the ill-fated Brighton trip, once past the initial shock Mick's attitude towards his flat-mate has been...*interesting*, to say the least. Ostensibly straighter than straight, it wouldn't be hard to imagine Mick being curious about sleeping with Fred and finding out more. I could easily see there being more to their relationship than meets the eye, given how hurt Mick was when Fred said he didn't fancy him -- and his dismay when he discovered that Fred was moving to a new general practice and hadn't told him again seemed like the reaction of a jilted lover. The inter-racial aspect (Asian/Black) would certainly be fascinating, too. Besides -- who could possibly resist Walford's favourite medic -- he of the beautiful eyes and implausibly long, thick, sweeping (and apparently multiple) eyelashes?!
Beppe de Marco (Michael Greco)/Grant Mitchell (Ross Kemp): EastEnders
The pairing of the British-Italian Stallion with a belligerent British Bulldog may seem unlikely, given how much they hated each other; but you know how opposites attract, and the combination of suave Italian and archetypical bit of rough is extremely appealing. Besides, that cute little wave and smile Grant gave Beppe as the Walford tough-nut and his young daughter disappeared behind the departure gate at Heathrow and Beppe's own rueful look had my antennae whirling -- and could well have been taken to mean more than a hearty "Good riddance!" on both sides. :-) This pairing is given extra spice by Ross Kemp's recent admission that he wants to shed his hard-man image and would particularly relish playing a gay man.
Steerpike (Jonathan Rhys-Meyer)/Titus Groan (Andrew N Robertson): Gormenghast
Okay, I'll admit it; I only watched the first 40 minutes of the BBC's Gormenghast before giving up. :-} However, I stuck with it for much of the time and I must admit that it had much to recommend it. Gormenghast is *gorgeous* to look at, and in terms of imaginative design is absolutely breathtaking; the all-pervasive dream-like quality is staggering and I defy anyone not to be impressed. By ep 3 I still found this fantasy heartless and disturbing, but felt more at home with its gaggle of grotesques. Most important of all, we have a beautiful anti-hero to drool over in the most attractive shape of former kitchen boy Steerpike. "Beautiful anti-hero"? Oh yes -- though you probably wouldn't like to actually run into him in real life: as the scheming scullion Steerpike, Velvet Goldmine's Jonathan Rhys Meyers is deliciously devious. He's also *awesomely* pretty; a fey, androgynous waif, strutting and posturing like a dancer in black breeches and top coat and shiny black leather boots. This is an area which isn't ignored by the production; at one extreme it's hinted that the hideously obese cook Swelter abuses his young kitchen boys -- but this is contrasted with Steerpike's effect on other characters. Certainly the interview with John Sessions in the accompanying BBC souvenir makes it clear that while Lady Fuchsia is drawn to Steerpike, his character Dr Prunesquallor (Gormenghast's heroic, camp physician) is also sexually aroused by the wily ex-kitchen devil. Perhaps *too* pretty for some Gormenghast fans, Steerpike's combination of lithe angelic beauty and scheming rebel is very attractive -- and I have to say that as he charms and seduces his way to control of the fastness of Gormenghast, I really do like the idea of Steerpike working his *carnal* wiles on the rebellious Titus, 77th Earl of Groan. The sexual combination of such polar opposites, scheming Steerpike and Titus, a strange, otherworldly youth, makes me positively *salivate*... :-D